Be A Man You Pussy

The latest Army ad campain apparently targets parents…

To me, the older guy looks like Mr. Middle America, with his denim jacket and his steely glint. He doesn’t seem too worried about the risk of bodily harm to his kid (never mind the moral underpinnings of the war). He’s far more interested in his son’s improved handshake etiquette. The Army will mold your boy into a stand-up guy with a manly bearing, the ad seems to say, and what could be more important than that?

It all comes together in the fascinating tag line: “Help them find their strength.” The Army has at last been repositioned as a finishing school. You’ve done the best you can, Mom and Dad, but it’s time let the service raise him right.

You did a fine job of raising your kid to be a useless pussy. Let the army turn him into a man complete with his own set of bad memories, scars and Posttramatic Stress Disorder. He needs to become a man and fight the good fight for a cause that people honestly can’t remember the point of anymore without referencing talking points that they have heard repeated on TV over and over again.